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For those around me it's so much easier to cut off a friend who is persistently difficult, self-absorbed, nasty, unpredictable, and decidedly other.


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And it's even easier to cut off a friend if they cut themselves off first. I've run this story through my head a million times: one of my best friends—an unnaturally talented writer and a top bloke—slowly began to recede into himself. He cleared all his friends from Facebook, he stopped replying to calls and texts, and then he hauled himself up in his room like a hermit. We all knew what was happening.

Friends kept messaging me: "Have you seen X? Is X okay? We should go and see X. None of us ever went and saw X. That was two years ago and none of us have seen or talked to him since. He is not dead but he is gone. Hauled up in the mountain cabin of his mind. Losing a friend like this was like seeing a ghost pass through the two walls of a hallway—a kind of vanishing that leaves you feeling uncertain.

Last year I slid back into my own depressive slump, and began copying all the same behaviour. Basically just self-isolating and burning bridges so that within six months I'd lost more friends than someone who proudly boasts about voting for Jil Stein. A depressive hibernation is not so much a purposeful exile, as a slow-paced locking of doors.

Depressed boyfriend stays at friends house/avoiding home

When your mind feels groggy and your day is a looping cycle of inaction and despairing thoughts, it can be hard to work up the strength to go to a friend's gig, grab a coffee, or reply to a text. In my own experience, the disease does so much to convince you of your awfulness, that you start viewing your absence from friends and events as a deformed favour.

Then this fear of wrecking the fun for others lays on a thick coating of guilt. Depressives—the mad in general—carry a lot of guilt. It negatively affects how a person thinks, feels, and acts. Some of the symptoms of depression include persistent sadness, lack of energy, and feelings of despair and hopelessness that last weeks, months, or longer.

Those with depression might not enjoy many of the things they used to and can find it difficult to handle daily activities. Fortunately, there is help. It can be hard to know what to say or do when a friend is depressed. But you can start by offering support and encouragement. Here are other ways to help:.

Depression Steals Your Soul and Then it Takes Your Friends

No matter what your friend may be facing, remember what President Dieter F. Your support, encouragement, and love can play an important role in getting your friend needed help. Elder Quentin L. For divine purposes, our life on earth is challenging.

Finding the Words to Help

Depression can be one of the challenges we face here. Unfortunately, depression and other mental conditions can carry a stigma. This often leaves those who struggle with depression feeling stereotyped and alienated, which can keep them from getting help. I don't know what to do to make him happy again.


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  3. 1. Depression is an illness.
  4. You can't solve his problem, because depression is an illness, and illnesses need treatment. Take him aside and tell him that you love him, it worries you to see him hurting so much, and you'd like to come with him to a doctor. Explain you'd feel much better if he started getting treatment, and offer to go with him. Only a doctor can fix this. It will take a while for the treatment to begin working, and it will be hard, but in time things will get better.

    Not Helpful 15 Helpful Unanswered Questions.

    6 ways to help a friend with depression

    How do I help a friend who is depressed because someone hurt their feelings? Answer this question Flag as Flag as Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Tips When your friend is confiding in you with their feelings, don't start bringing up your own problems. This might make them feel like their depression isn't as important as your own problems and make things worse.

    Everyday, ask them about how their day has been. Do not forget about them. Always talk to them about normal day-to-day life, and it will give them a chance to open up to you. Be patient. Don't involve other peers unless the person is happy with you involving other people. And above all remind them that you will always be there for them. And if you say it, mean it. Do things for your friend. Helping with work, distracting them or temporarily cheering them up, defending them from others Stress, anxiety and a long period of significant low mood can cause or worsen depression.

    If your friend is prone to any of these conditions, they must attempt to overcome them through stress management, positive thinking and any other therapies or techniques that may be effective. Remember that having a mental disorder still carries a stigma in our society. So, before you discuss the depressed person's condition with a third party, ask their permission to do so.

    You want to help them, not make them subject to the gossip mill. Antidepressants and other forms of therapy such as counselling may actually make a person feel worse for a while. Medication can have many side-effects, and talking therapies may kick up problems and distressing feelings that have been long buried. It is totally normal for a person to find these things distressing; it should get easier as time goes by. Make sure your friend knows you are there for them if they need your support. When choosing a therapist, doctor, or any professional, it is vital to find someone who has had experience and has a good knowledge of depression and all treatment options, as well as a personality your friend is comfortable with.

    It will help to interview people on their approach, and not be afraid to change therapists or doctors if they do not seem up to scratch. People with depression need to be helped by people who have the knowledge, expertise and especially, a real desire to help, rather than treat them like a number or not really listen which can have damaging effects. Do not try to make them feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are than other people's lives.

    Recovery can be hard work and it may take a while. It probably won't happen overnight, or even in a few days or weeks, depending on how severe the depression is and the trigger factors causing it, if any. It is possible to experience "blips" or temporary relapses on the road to recovery; this is normal, so be reassuring when it happens, and remind them how far they have come.

    If your friend is prescribed antidepressants, make sure they are aware that they can request other forms of therapy at the same time, for example, counselling, cognitive behavioral therapy, or dialectic behavior therapy. Once you find out your friend is depressed, try not to treat him or her, any different than you did before.

    If the depressed person is someone that is close to you then make sure you regularly tell them how important they are to you and how much you care. It is also important to tell them everything positive that they have influenced in your life and others. Warnings Never tell them that their problems are stupid or that there is nothing to worry about. They'll stop talking.

    2. It affects self-worth

    Self-harm could be the precursor to thoughts of suicide, so watch them closely and continue to provide gentle encouragement and reassurance. Many suicide attempts can happen when people seem like they are feeling better, rather than when they seem severely depressed. When someone is at rock bottom they may not have enough energy to do anything; when their energy starts to return, that is when they may take action. If you can, in a crisis, try to call a health care professional or suicide hotline before involving the police.

    There have been incidences where police intervention in cases of people in mental crisis have resulted in traumatization or death. When possible, involve someone you're sure has the expertise and training to deal specifically with mental health or psychiatric crises. Edit Related wikiHows. Article Summary X If your friend has depression, you can help them by encouraging them to talk to a doctor, since depression is often caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and it's just as real of an illness as any physical pain.

    Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,, times. Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-Authored By:. Trudi Griffin, LPC. Co-authors: Updated: June 17, DB Donya Bt Sep 2, I'm happy at the moment because by reading this article I understood that I did everything right, but these days I feel sad a little and I was worried about myself.

    And this article helps me to understand that self-care is as important as anything else. LQ Linda Quinn Oct 31, There is a tremendous need for this information today.

    SML Movie: Bowser's Depression

    There are so many people in our country suffering. So many others that want to help, but do not know how. Thanks for this resource. The section on supporting your friend is excellent. MS Mercedes Smith Dec 10, This article really gave me a better knowledge on depression and helped me understand what I can to do to help. KD Kristin Duprey Jun 10,