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Don't feel bad about having fun. Attending social events can be a form of distraction from your grieving, and to remind you that, no matter how rough things are right now, life will get better. Instead, going out with friends, watching a funny movie, or dancing to favorite songs you shared with the deceased can be a great way to restore your ability to handle the grief.

You might find yourself bowling over with laughter and then drowning in tears. That's okay, too. Seek professional help, if necessary. Suicide survivors frequently gain better understanding of what the deceased was going through by seeing a grief counselor. A counselor can explain confusing mental health issues that your loved one may have been battling. He or she can also help you process what you're feeling and develop healthy coping skills. This is especially helpful, if you witnessed the suicide, since such a traumatic ordeal can manifest into post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Method 3.

Learn the stats associated with suicide. Educating yourself, your loved ones, and others around you can help you to make better sense of why your loved one chose to take his life. Each year in America, more than 40, people take their own lives. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, and the second leading cause for young people ages 10 to Don't stay silent about your grief. Quite different from other causes of death, suicide often leaves survivors feeling isolated.

The stigma built up around suicide makes survivors unlikely to talk about what they're going through with others, and you may even want to keep quiet about the details of the death to avoid this stigma. Be courageous and seek out others with whom you can share your story. You don't have to tell everyone in your local community, but open up to a few individuals you can count on for support.

Staying silent about this issue could prevent others from learning about the signs and possibly saving a life. Join a support group for those affected by suicide. Getting support from other survivors, people who are also dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide, can help you find comfort and overcome stigma. You can join a group facilitated by a counselor or a layperson who has personal experience dealing with grief after a suicide.

Check out a few local groups to see if you feel comfortable opening up and sharing your story. It has been 4 months since a young friend took his life. I still ask myself "why? I can't stop thinking about why he did it. How do I settle these thoughts? Crisis Text Line. Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest things a person can go through, particularly if that person has taken their own life. Remember that it is not your fault. This was an incredibly personal decision for your friend.

In order to work through this difficult time, surround yourself with a support system, consider reaching out for professional help if you feel you need it, and remember to take care of yourself even when it feels hard. Yes No. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0. My crush committed suicide recently without a hint. He was a happy guy with good marks, friends, and family. I feel suicidal now. What can I do? Maria elisa bethia. If you can't afford a counselor, borrow the money.

You’re still here -- Living after suicide - Amy Biancolli - TEDxAlbany

Or call a local hospice or hospital and ask for the staff social worker or staff pastor at the hospital. When you get hold of one of them, tell them you urgently need a grief therapy group because your crush committed suicide with no warning. You're in the worst situation any human can be in.

In a grief group you'll definitely meet others to whom this very thing has happened. Get help NOW. Do NOT commit suicide. I was in your position. They saved my life. Not Helpful 8 Helpful My father hasn't committed suicide, but wants to. He is losing his car, his job, and the love of his family. He thinks the solution is death. What can I do to stop him? If your father feels he is losing the love of his family, show him love. Be kind, spend time with him, do things with him that he enjoys, and offer to help him out however you can e.

Tell him this isn't the end of the world, that many people go through bad periods like this, and things will get better, he just has to work at it. Tell him that his life and well-being is important to you. Not Helpful 5 Helpful My friend and I were texting last night, and she said things like how she wants to die and how she doesn't want to feel anymore. No matter how hard I tried, she only said, "Bye. What should I do?

Call some type of authority and go to her house to see if her parents are home or if there is any sign of life. If there is, make sure she gets the help she needs from professionals who know how to deal with suicidal people. It's incredibly difficult to change the mind of someone set on suicide. Remind them that you care about them, and you love them. Let them know that you're always there for support, and encourage them to use the Suicide Hotline. Not Helpful 9 Helpful My friend committed suicide about 8 months ago.

He was an internet friendship and we never even got the chance to meet in person. I don't have all those fond little memories to look back on, because we never got any.

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What do I do? I still feel as lost as I did 8 months ago. Find a support group in your area or online. Better yet, you are in a unique position to help others in similar circumstances who are just starting out on their own journey. Sometimes helping others can relieve the feelings around one's own situation. In any case, grief isn't something to get over, but being in situations where you can feel different emotions sometimes helps put a comforting blanket over it.

Thank you for sharing with all of us. I met my collage sweetheart 28 years ago. We dated for two years, than broke up. We we're young and deeply in love. At the same time we tormented each other. I couldn't handle the relationship, so I left him. I met someone else and married him a year later. I wasn't in love with the prison I married, but he gave me a better since of direction and emotional stability.

I have been with him 25 years no. I love him dearly now.

Coping with Grief and Loss -

I thought I got over my college sweetheart, till someone mentioned his name the other day and I have been thinking and missing him daily. I tried to find him on Facebook. I did, but I didn't request a friendship. I just don't understand why my grief in over a lost relationship would hunt me, after all these yeaes. I don't really love him any more and I don't want the relationship that ripped in pieces, but I don't understand this emotional grieve I'm going through.

Someone explain it to me. Thanks for confirming something I think I've known all along 6 years a widow yet am made to feel guilty for admitting: That you never get over loss, you just learn to incorporate it into your life. Saying things to me like "He's gone! Needless to say he's not my friend anymore. I don't know why so many people think they have a right to tell me how I should feel or for how long.

I'm having trouble with getting back to work, focusing, and anxiety. I think i've been clamping down on my jaw when I sleep, too. My mother died about 5 weeks ago. I moved in with her last summer because I thought I could help her and enjoy some time with her.

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Now I feel so alone, with her stuff all over the house. I get confused as to how much I want to clean things out and make it more me. I get confused when I drive by a street name that I knew would remind me of her after she died, and knew that one day i'd drive by it after she was gone, and wondered how I would feel to see it.

I keep hoping one day, going to work, I'll pass by that street sign, and smile a bit instead of looking at it like a monster because the grief is still a bit overwhelming. Yes Angie. I can't focus either. I paid all mom's bills. I wanted to spare her a painful death. I cry and very sad all day.

I feel lost and alone. I break down. I think of her and smile. I too am crushed. I woke last night from a dream and felt like I had to save her and couldn't. Anyone who searched for this article and reads these comments is searching for comfort.

What Is Grief?

I hope I can provide some. The past 2 years have both dragged on and flown by. My doctor prescribed Wellbutrin after 1 year, and that has made a positive difference. I have been able to function and be productive. Sometimes I still wish I could go back to the old normal and a time when I felt safe.

I have started to volunteer. I appreciate my job more. I am one of the most cheerful and positive and friendly people you could ever run into, because I don't ever want to feel that kind of pain again. I don't think I avoid it, as much as I embrace where I am in life, and I appreciate the smaller things more. I reread my original post above, and grinned, because I do pass by that street and smile.

Sometimes I pass it and don't pay attention to it.

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Things don't paralyze me anymore. My mother had a massive stroke in at I could no longer get the comfort from a mother and that saddened me. I cry, I am sad and wake up missing her every day. I keep seeing her little face wearing her little baseball caps. I won't get over this. I'm sorry for everyone's suffering. I hope everyone sticks it out because even if the pain never goes away completely, it does lessen, and you do find beauty in life even after loss.

I lost my first boyfriend, David, in December of Yes, almost 26 years ago.

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  4. I was 17 years old at the time and he was He was stabbed to death trying to help his sister with a bad relationship she was in with her boyfriend. I loved David; still do and always will. Despite being married for 25 years now, David is my true love and holds the biggest piece of my heart. My husband then boyfriend met David just shortly before his death. He knows how I feel about him, but does not like to hear me speak of him.

    He seems to be jealous, even though David is dead. I thought that I had my grief "under control" until a few days ago. David came to mind and I started searching online bad idea to see what I could find out about his murder. I came across his obituary in the newspaper. That was hard to read of course, but I've carried his funeral card with me since his passing in I then came across the crime report of his murder and the name of the person who killed him. That was it. That was four days ago and I haven't stopped crying since.

    I shouldn't have read it, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. I feel like it was just yesterday that he died. The tears have been constant and I am experiencing actual pain in my heart. I been fighting feelings of wishing the Lord would take me from this earth, so that I could be with my one true love.

    I've also asked the Lord to please allow him to come to me again. I have to backtrack just a bit here. When I was in my early 20's 53 now , I was alone in my apartment one day. My husband was out drinking. He is an alcoholic, although he's been sober now for many years. Needlesstosay, life was hard, but this day I was standing looking at myself in the bathroom mirror and crying uncontrollably, screaming over and over I can't take this anymore, begging the Lord to please call me home, despite the fact that we had a young son who needed me.

    I couldn't handle life anymore and no longer wanted to. Suddenly, as I'm crying, so ready to die, I heard whispers from the corner of the room. No one was in the apartment, but me son was at school. I turned to where I heard the whispers and of course saw nothing, but in my mind, I heard what the whispers were saying. They kept repeating it will be okay.

    It will be okay, over and over. I don't know how many people exactly were trying to speak to me, but there were a few. One of the voices was David's. He was there to help me. I felt an overwhelming calmness after that and was able to get myself under control. Well, I've been asking the Lord to send him to me again. I need to hear that I will be okay and that, as much as I want to, I can't be with him right now, but so far nothing has happened.

    David also spoke to me once in a dream many, many years ago. I was having daily nightmares that he was not okay; that he was not resting in peace in Heaven. The nightmares lasted for months. Finally, one night, David came to me in my dreams and told me that he was okay, not to worry and that he loved me. The nightmares stopped after that. I don't know what to do. No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop thinking about him and crying, uncontrollably crying, crying in pain.

    I certainly can't speak to my husband about it and haven't spoken to even my mom about it. It's been almost 26 years since his death and I feel like I should be able to get my emotions under control, yet I can't I found this blog so depressing. I have lost my husband. When he was alive I did all I could to keep him alive despite the illness now I am hurting so much, but I want to get over it. I am determined to get over it. I am nearly 70 myself and do not want to spend what life i might have being unhappy.

    It may sound callous but I can't have the person I loved back and he would not want me sad either so I do my best to push it away and enjoy every moment of my life. Sometimes I get lucky and feel a bit better sometimes not but I am not ever going to give up trying, and he would not have wanted it. Mary C. Lamia , Ph. The pain of loss is fueled by the ghost of the good stuff.

    An attack-self coping response to shame is prominent in depression.

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    4. Procrastinators may be very anxious when a deadline is looming, but it's OK. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. The Psychology of Creativity. Gender Segregation at Work. Lamia Ph. Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Always Ajar reply Submitted by Mary C.

      Thank you so much for your Submitted by Anonymous on January 3, - pm. Loss of Child Submitted by Anonymous on September 11, - pm. Grief Submitted by Les on May 23, - pm. Thank you Submitted by Eric on April 21, - pm. I very much appreciate your comment, Eric. Mary Lamia. Not so sure Submitted by silver on June 17, - pm. Thank you! Its so hard when Submitted by Anonymous on July 14, - am. Submitted by louise on October 19, - pm. A question Submitted by Anon on May 31, - pm. Letting yourself accept what Submitted by Anonymous on September 22, - pm.

      Finally, the reality of it Submitted by M. Submitted by Mary C. Thank you for your very heartfelt and touching comments. Silence Submitted by Anonymous on September 11, - pm. Silence Submitted by Anonymous on October 15, - pm. Silence and understanding Submitted by Anonymous on October 17, - pm. What is the point? Submitted by Anonymous on September 20, - pm. The old Submitted by Anonymous on September 22, - pm. Re: What is the point?

      Submitted by M. Thank you Submitted by Anonymous on October 17, - pm. I read all the comments and Submitted by Anonymous on October 25, - am. At the same time, however, family members usually feel tremendous sadness. It is important for us to understand that one can feel both sadness and peace at the same time. I have worked with many good people who wondered if they had lost faith because they felt profound sorrow at the passing of a loved one. Hinckley — expressed his tender feelings concerning his wife.

      As I held her hand and saw mortal life drain from her fingers, I confess I was overcome. Before I married her, she had been the girl of my dreams, to use the words of a song then popular. She was my dear companion for more than two-thirds of a century, my equal before the Lord, really my superior. And now in my old age, she has again become the girl of my dreams. None of the people I have worked with said they would give up the love they had for a family member in order to avoid the grief that came from losing that family member.

      When loved ones pass from this side of the veil to the other, they continue to be just as important to us as when they were with us. I have stood at the bedsides of many people as they passed from this life, and I have had countless experiences that have strengthened my knowledge that our loved ones are in many ways as present with us after death as they are during life. Our loved ones who have passed on are not far from us.

      Death is part of our existence here on the earth. Nevertheless, through the Atonement and Resurrection of His Son, Heavenly Father has provided a way for us not only to overcome death but also to be comforted and healed. Through Christ, broken hearts are mended and peace replaces anxiety and sorrow. Wirthlin — of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:.