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The egg sandwiches are sprinkled with truffle, giving them a tang that is suspended somewhere between mushroom and obscenity. The coronation chicken sandwiches have just the right balance between nutty coolness and curried bass notes.

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The scones course throws my whole thought system on bread consumption protocol into disarray. And the correct pronunciation? Scone should rhyme with con, not cone. Both the Cornwall jam then cream and Devon cream then jam methods of application are acceptable. Jo shreds the bottom half of her scone into small pieces. The unflappable empress of etiquette ignores me; instead she concentrates on putting small, perfect heaps of cream and compote onto her plate with a practised flick of the wrist that a passing eye might mistake for a wave of a magic wand. T he scones are fragile and flaky rather than dense and claggy, and sweetened with nibs of fruit.

The jam oozes and dribbles cheerfully under a cumulus cloud of clotted cream. Some of it ends up on the tablecloth. I surreptitiously slide my saucer over the stains with a feeling of guilt that is deeply pleasurable. Class concludes with musings on the future of etiquette. I feel like the dowager off Downton Abbey every time. Beauty in the smallest things, as Rupert says. Long reads.

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