It must be difficult and honestly hope the best for you. Just remember, 2 men can not produce a child together. Listen to your conscience. You write beautifully. As far as kids needing a mother? Let me see…mine abandoned my brother and me when we were little, leaving my dad to raise us both on his own. He worked 90 hours a week, still managed to coach my softball team and was front and center at any important event we had. His ability to manage both dual roles and then some, is what made me the parent I am today.
As though all moms are the same, and all women for that matter. Heck my wife and I would be willing! It takes a village anyway, for ALL of us. I comment when I especially enjoy a article on a site or I have something to add to the conversation. Usually it is triggered by the sincerness communicated in the article I browsed. Mommy Man. Is it simply me or does it appear like a few of these responses look as if they are written by brain dead individuals? Would you list the complete urls of your social sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile? Glad you liked the post and are not brain dead.
No one argues it would be better to have a sociopathic mother over two healthy gays. But we must compare equals, and not straw men arguments. If everything is equal— two loving gays verses a loving mom and dad—it would be better for a child not to be denied the life experience of a mother. Is this fair to a child? Thanks for commenting. I think that kids deserve the best life possible.
My wonderful gay family: I was raised by two loving, beautiful lesbian mums
I have often wondered if my kids would be better off having a healthy mom instead of one who, like me, is disabled. There will always be those to knock you down and tell you that you are not enough in my case that would be my mother. You only have to look at your children to know the truth—those naysayers are full of bunk. So I would never suggest that a non-traditional family should not be allowed to have kids. Or even that they should not choose to have kids if they want them. I thought I made it pretty clear that I think moms are awesome and that I think a lot about what my kids might be missing out on by not having one.
As for whether my kids have female role models, I just assumed it was obvious that they do, being that they live, you know, on Earth. Love this, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I think any children fortunate enough to have at least one loving, caring, responsible adult in their life has won the parent lottery. I get the feeling your children have won twice over.
My wonderful gay family: I was raised by two loving, beautiful lesbian mums
Looking forward to following your posts. These kids are lucky to have you!!! Love is love and yours seems unconditional. Loved the blog. I think children can thrive under all kinds of family structures with love and nurturing. That said I reunite separated families your kids are just like everyone else born they do have a mother and a father that made them and in their case one of those two parents is absent and the other one is present. I think people all people should be held equally accountable for their offspring as parents regardless of their sexual orientation or their marital status either to one another or to other people, nothing should matter but being accountable as a parent for the lives we reproduce to create.
There is no third party reproduction. I think that marital presumption needs to end for everyone. Nobody should be named parent on the birth certificate of a child that is not their own offspring. There is nothing wrong with being a legal step parent of a child and there are no rules about how a child will feel towards their parent or their step parent. Lots of people love their step parents more than their parents. Their mother could have wanted to remain involved and you could have wanted her to remain involved and all of you could have wanted to be an alternative family form where both bio parents took full responsibility and met your obligations regardless of not being a couple.
Millions of parents have joint custody and have other spouses and live unconventionally and have well adjusted kids. It is very sad and it has nothing to do with how wonderful the people that raise the kids are. Like I said I reunite separated families and more and more donor offspring and parents who donated and their relatives are looking for help finding the family they lost in these arrangements, not because there is anything wrong with who raised the kids just because everyone has a mom and a dad and that connects them to a whole family that gets separated when someone fails to fulfill their duties as parent of their own offspring.
My children do not have a mother. At 4 years old, they already are — and will remain throughout life — aware of how they were created and where their DNA came from.
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There is no reuniting to be done, no service you could provide them that would make any difference in their life whatsoever. Thus, my kids have no mother and two fathers. Our surrogate and egg donor each have their own families and have no interest in sharing custody of our children. Nor would that be geographically feasible, as they are both prohibitively far away.
Nor have my kids ever asked for this. But nobody asked you to judge my family according to your standards. I wish the same for you and also hope you can someday appreciate that the diversity of modern families is a good thing for all of us. And I just want to point out, most people are super supportive and nice, at least to our faces. I found and started reading your blog earlier this week. You beat out my usual go-to of the panda cam, by the way.
I was adopted from Colombia by a mom and a dad and never knew any other way. I asked preschool friends which country they came from and got really strange looks. I knew I was different and wore it with pride. Sure, maybe a mom could have helped when I gained a freshman Sure, maybe a mom could have helped ease the pain of a broken engagement.
But not MY mom. Supportive, loving people committed to helping me to succeed are what I deserve. Currently, my boyfriend of 6 years and his 11 year old son live with me. Blood means little to me. Most anyone can physically produce offspring. But not everyone can be a parent to raise children. Keep up the great work. Your kids are lucky to have you both. Beautifully said. Children need LOVE. Regardless of the size or shape or colour or gender of the caregiver, to flourish, love is all they need.
I was raised by my dad after my mum died when I was three. Forty odd years later I still think of my mom constantly and miss her horrendously, I cried during prenatal visits to my doctor when I saw other women with their mothers in the waiting room. I have spent my lifetime wondering what she was like and gobbling up any piece of information about her I could get from relatives and people who knew her.
I am only just learning to understand the extent of the deleterious effect her absence had on my life. I did not reach my full potential and I lack self esteem and confidence. My mother had no choice but you did and you have selfishly chosen to put your children through the same horrendous loss as I suffered and worse.
I wish you the strength to do the same. I could never imagine not having her. I know that I would have survived without her, but nothing can replace a mother. Or a father. A nurturing and comforting love that is enhanced by being able to be affectionate. Around 8 I know that I would be uncomfortable acting loving towards my dad the way I was able to around my mom.
There is just something different and unique. Thanks, Patricia! Glad you found the blog and liked it so much. Good luck! I think kids deserve role models of both sexes, regardless of gay or straight. As parents, as long as you are putting food in their bellies, clothes on their bodies, loving them and doing the best you can raising them, then your awesome. What the world needs is love. Sending you an e-hug xx. Well, alright then. I mainly just like to comment for people that may agree, so they know that there are people out there that also think like them..
BUT, I understand that it is your blog and I respect that you have the right to monitor your comments, so.. I will shut up now, and best of luck with everything. I actually meant to let the people I was replying to know that I agree with them. But, yet again, alright, goodbye.
If your children are never going to actually know who their biological mother is, then that is incredibly sad for them. Regardless of what you consider a mom to be, they DO have a mother and deserve to know who that is and anything else about their biological family that they can. Thanks so much! Thanks for the question. How do you think that sounds to me as a parent? I swear he said that. Are there moments they wonder what life would be like with a mom?
I used to wonder what life would be like if I had rich parents, or if I lived in London or California. I have never been a parent myself, but I have all the important people in my life who are gay and any ignorant comments about these issues are always causing emotional trigger inside me. Your post cannot be more true, and it speaks for a lot more people out there thinking the same thing. A kid needs parents or parent to love them, no matter what the gender.
You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. A model family. Like this: Like Loading I think it stems from the fact your choices were completely selfish and about yourself. Can you give me the gist of it? Your twins have twice as much as many. It just premiered a couple of weeks ago. Thanks for sharing your perspective — and proving my point. This was truly and amazing post!
You and your partner are indeed great parents. Thanks for getting my point! If you want to know why, you can read my Comment Policy. Babies do best with their mother for their first 5 years of life which is why co-sleeping with mom, extended breastfeeding and moms staying at home to run pre-k is often encouraged Children want to follow the people that look like them physically these basic primal instincts of follow the leader is how children learn about their sex , most children want to have a relationship with both sides of the gene pool all their grandparents, children want to be able to fit in with their peer groups.
Good luck to you and your nephew. Also, your children are so cute! Thanks for your interest. I know this is a post from last year but it caught my eye and I felt compelled to comment. Thanks for writing. You are so right! What if you indulge your body with food? Well, then you can pastor some of the largest churches on the planet and have the most successful broadcasts on the religious channels and sell a lot of books. Same biblical passage, same sin.
Why is one accepted and one rejected? Why is it that religious folks want to camp out on a few things rather then all things?
Why do they believe that the gay guy goes to hell but the fat preacher who builds some of the largest churches in the world makes it to heaven? I have no problem bringing my fat friends to church; they fit right in. Our Los Angeles church has doughnuts to eat during worship service, which makes the hymns we sing sound so much better. My Take: Why many Christians focus on homosexuality. I coached my son's soccer team last year. My assistant coach is a lesbian.
My son became great friends with her son, and my wife and I have become good friends with his mom and her partner. Most evangelical Christians don't have gay friends. We just have gay stereotypes and we base our beliefs on a few biblical passages, ignoring passages about things that people in the church really struggle with, like food and other addictions. The problem is that the church has only one answer for homosexuality: Don't be gay. Come as you are, but you'd better not be gay.
But you can be fat. Most Christians believe you should just help your friends to not be gay when, in all honesty, only Christ can do that. I love my lesbian friends.
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Where do they go to church? There is no way I would send them to an evangelical church, because not everyone would treat them the way they should be treated. But if they attend a gay church many Christians look at them as crazy. People will push you to take a stand one way or the other on homosexuality, but no one has ever asked me to take a stand when it comes to fat people. Ultimately, I believe homosexuality gets blown way out of proportion in our churches.
God loves gays and Jesus is for them. God loves the fat preacher. I think I did all of those just today. All are forgivable in Christ and, with the leading of the Holy Spirit, can be changed. Just remember that change does not happen overnight. Have you ever seen someone lose pounds overnight? The process takes time. And wherever you are at on that journey, I think there should be a place for you at church. Anderson Cooper is very good at what he does, and what the heck does his being gay have to do with "liking" him or not?
Being gay has nothing to do with brilliance, ability to perform a job well, having compassion on those that are homeless or just less fortunate than most others. When we didn't know Cooper was gay we respected him; now that we know he is gay, we still respect him. Its ridiculous how so many christians "gay bash" when they have huge logs in their own eyes.
Having been a bible-believing christian for a very long time, i have witnessed a lot of self-righteousness and pointing of fingers while people are blind to their own sin. How about focusing on what we do wrong ourselves before God ourselves instead of focusing on others and love and pray for others instead? Having been a devout atheist for many years, I was not astounded to see how many of my co-nonbelievers in god were anti-gay zealots.
It was terrible. Every other sentence they spoke was that fing ag. That g d psie. Much like ssmbo and females. One might expect a preevertted peddie like sambo would be more compassionate towards people with her proclivities for all things stanky 12 gauge desires for kids. Nice, balanced approach. I hope it's clear, though, that if a gay person is in a gay relationship, that person ought not to be received into full communion. Good observation about fat vs gay people. However "the church" has one answer is wrong. Several denominations within the body of Christ do openly accept gay people.
Many churches within other denominations do too. So to make that generalization of the only answer the church has is wrong. We are constantly asking who is my neighbor and where is the Spirit at work. Our answers vary within the body of Christ. Your evangelical background gives different answers than mine. Keep asking ans searching for the Spirit at work. You are on your way if you keep asking those questions and allow the spirit to work! Did you miss the point of this article? YES, the Bible says that is wrong But it also says eating shrimp, indulging in food, touching the flesh or carcass of a swine bye bye football , getting a tattoo, wearing a garment of materials mixed together, getting divorced, etc.
So if you're saying you go to hell for breaking any one rule in the Bible It is an interpretations of the bible that says it is wrong. There are other interpretations that disagree. So Riada, how many gay men have you killed? Your god commands it after all. At least your Muslim cousins, who worship the same god, have the balls to obey his orders.
Folks like you; however, just thumb your nose at your god's commands. U too, sambo. Stanky weed patch, spray in your face pleuring sidearm 12 gauge, u scking perverted pehile. Belief is based off of opinion, it can either be true or false. Atheist and some scientist believe there is no Creator God , but creation created itself. Christians know that there is a God due to the evidence all around us. There is a difference between believing and knowing. Scientist cannot give solid physical evidence proving that love exists. Yet doesnt pretty much everyone know it exist? There is less evidence that love exist then there is evidence that God exist.
There are physical things all around us proving God's existence. What evidence can anyone prove that love exist? Scientist have never seen black holes nor can they prove that they exist yet they say they know it exist. Is this not faith? They say gravity exist as well as wind is this not faith?
So who is really blind Christians or atheist? The answer is crystal clear. Just a reminder John "He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. You are trying to make a logical argument based on faulty things. The sooner everyone gets it thorugh their heads the better - God can be neither proven nor disproven. Love can be niether proven nor disproven well, maybe other than the love of a mother for her child. Once you understand those concepts -- then science and Christianity no longer need to be at odds.
For instance, is it possible the big bang theory occurred and that it was God who set those events in motion? When I hear creationists stating the world is only 6, years old I roll my eyes. If you read the Bible, time doesn't even start until the 4th "day" but the first 3 days are still referred to as days and nights. So what does that tell all our genius "creation scientist" friends???
That maybe a literal translation of the Bible isn't possible?
I am a strong believer in Christ and a strong believer in science. The 2 don't have to be and never should have been mutually exclusive. The only reason they ever were is because religioins feel threatened when science advances human knowledge. We just don't have any objective evidence to suggest that God exists. Sorry, but that's the fact. I was going to post a comment in relation to trolls.
But then I realized that it will just get trolled and that trolls will be trolls and that's the end of it. So I didn't. Reblogged this on Melinda Blunk I feel the same way he feels! From Meet the Feebles by Peter Jackson God loves us all He loves us all and wishes we would love each other with the same passion. People, get on with your lives, they are a gift. And Those who refuse to come to Him and accept His love, will spend eternity apart from Him. I had hoped to be treated just like anyone else after I came out before my sophomore year.
But I guess I was wrong. I even heard teachers make hurtful comments. After being subjected to slurs and teasing, I became anxious and paranoid. I started to wonder: What if something is really wrong with me? Things escalated slowly. Looks and stares eventually turned into laughs and slurs.
My girlfriend and I were walking to her car. I was so scared in the immediate aftermath. But then I just kind of normalized it. I went to the principal a few times that year, but he never did anything. And then more physical stuff started happening. One day, I was leaving the bathroom of our tech building when a girl and her friend came in. In my junior year, I was physically assaulted for being gay again. It juts out from the northwest corner of the school and down a small hill down to an area where people often get picked up after class.
Two boys were on the path yelling slurs, and I told them they were being offensive. I told them I was gay and had a girlfriend and that they may not want to say that. I reached out to stop him from hitting me again, but he grabbed his skateboard again and smashed my right hand. My hand hurt so bad and swelled up like a balloon. Eventually, my mom had to take me to the doctor. I was initially too nervous to tell school administrators. But my friend Hailey really thought I should talk to someone, so she made sure I did.
I spoke with the school resource officer and gave him a rundown of what happened. His response was stunning, but not surprising in hindsight. The officer said that being gay was a choice, and it was against his religion. He said that he had homosexual friends, but because I was an open homosexual, I was going to hell.
Yes, right there in his office, inside the school, he straight up told me I was going to hell. That was his response to me getting attacked.
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That was confusing. I know a bunch of my friends had gotten in trouble down on that path for smoking or other things. The principal chose not to take action when it was an assault for being gay, but for any other reason, he was happy to step in.
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